The OpenRemote method "worked" inasmuch as I was able to connect to the remote server; however, I got some interop exception that sort of got in the way. Something about the COM not being registered, and when I googled the error code, it basically talked about MS Office. I can give it another go if necessary because I foolishly forgot to save the error message and I'm certain my vague description doesn't help much (though if it does spark an idea, please feel free to chime in with another suggestion! Otherwise, I'll try to find time to run it again and see if I can capture it this time).
In the mean time, we've been working with a couple of different options, so I'm not stalled completely.
Thanks for the help thus far, Guys.
EDIT: Here's the COM error I was talking about.
Unable to cast COM object of type 'System.__ComObject' to interface type 'Microsoft.Web.Administration.Interop.IAppHostWritableAdminManager'. This operation failed because the QueryInterface call on the COM component for the interface with IID '{FA7660F6-7B3F-4237-A8BF-ED0AD0DCBBD9}' failed due to the following error: Interface not registered (Exception from HRESULT: 0x80040155).