I truly understand your frustation. Here is what I'd do based on what you have described. Lets get 1 FTP site working locally, then try to access it remotely. I'm assuming people who are 'remote' are coming from the 'public' ip address side of the network.
1) Turn off the private FTP sites
2) Make sure your 'public' FTP site is turned on and you can access it locally on the box using the FTP.exe
3) Open up the services and ports on the FTP service type 0.0.0.0 or public IP using the RRAS admin tool
4) from a 'remote' machine on the public network side, type 'telnet PublicIPAddress 21' for example telnet 192.168.1.10 21 (there are spaces between each command) This will test connectivity from a remote box to your FTP site.
5) If that works, try the command line ftp from that client to your 'public' site.
6) Make sure you have logging enabled on the FTP site, this defaults to c:\windows\system32\logfiles\msftpsvc1
That is where I'd start. If you get this far, you have proven the network, firewalls, and connectivity is correct. If not, you have something on your network blocking somewhere. Good luck!